So! Hello! Sorry bit of a ramble, I was originally going to put this at the start of my special interest page, and then I was thinking about putting it at the end, but this ended up being longer than I thought so it goes in its own little corner.
I'm self-diagnosed autistic and I have been for a few years now! And yes it's entirely valid! And no I don't want to be formally diagnosed! Have you read all the issues people have after a formal diagnosis? They won't let you adopt and some areas won't even let you move there for 'public health'. Yeah, it's fucked. Also, I'm a nonbinary afab so really what is my chance of getting diagnosed anyway lol.
So why am I autistic? This is a mix of things both official diagnosing criteria and commonly accepted things in the community.
All in a nice little list!
Sensory issues especially visual and auditory, places like the mall or sometimes just a busy store can send me into a panic/meltdown to the sound and visuals it's very overwhelming for me.
Problems detecting sarcasm or joking around, which sucks because a lot of my family are playfully mean and sarcastic. So I end up getting called a crybaby because I genuinely can not tell if they are playing or just being mean to me.
Food sensitivity, this is a little 50/50 because I wouldn't say I'm too picky, and I'll try anything within my diet restriction (vegetarian) at least once. But that being said I tend to stick to the same foods a lot and I go in these bursts where for a few weeks to a month I'll only eat that one food.
Food sensitivity 2, I can't often tell when I'm hungry so sometimes I will forget to eat until I'm in physical pain, on top of that I have days where even thinking about eating will make me feel sick, but I do have a safe food I can usually eat even in that state that I try and always keep on hand. And that's ramen packs if you're curious, so at least it's something cheap.
I tend to feel my emotions very strongly and have a hard time letting them go or to stop thinking about them. I know the stereotype with autism is that we don't feel anything, but that's actually not true. We tend to either have very muted responses or very intense responses deemed 'inappropriate' towards a topic. Like for example if I accidentally kill a bug I'll break down in tears, which many would deem an inappropriate reaction.
Drawing is my biggest emotional stabilizer so I almost always carry a small sketchbook on me and if I do not draw throughout an entire day and I'm also not doing some big interest thing (like going to the zoo or something like that) I get really depressive and upset. So I try and make it a goal to draw something when I get up in the morning or before bed. Which for me is my daily needed routine.
Some other minor things, but common things for people with autism I experience are like- sometimes I do the 'dino hands' or t-rex hands pose as just my default post. Which I didn't know it was called that for a while I tended to call it meerkating. I also tend to walk on the front of my feet very often. Another thing is I often go up the stairs on all fours if I can because it feels more right to me. I really don't know why these sorts of things are so common with autistic people honestly it's just kind of interesting it's just like- why do we do this? It's weird how common it is.
If I'm really comfortable with someone I will communicate very vocally with sounds like growling, or other making noises. This is something I used to get made fun of a lot for so now I only really do it around my fiance. I don't know if this is just me a thing, but it could maybe be considered a vocal stim? Like I do things like purr when I'm cuddling I don't know I could also just be a little weirdo.
I think the biggest thing though is that simply being self-diagnosed has helped me learn things, that help me function better in my daily life and better understand myself. Like yeah sometimes when doing big groups of chores having someone just be in the room with me helps me focus (double bodying), carrying a spring in my pocket or a stuffed animal in my bag helps calm me down. (comfort items, fidgeting).
